Again

My feelings are intense but recognizable. While I am still processing today’s news, I want to record my initial reaction. And maybe it’ll make others feel less alone.  

Today, I watched federal agents kill another person in Minneapolis. Alex Jeffrey Pretti was a U.S. citizen. He was an ICU nurse at the local Veterans Affairs hospital. He was 37 years old. 

And he was killed by a group of federal agents who are in Minneapolis under the guise of immigration enforcement. He was pepper sprayed. Beaten. And then shot over and over and over and over and over and over again while he lay on the ground. 

I once again feel angry. I feel scared. I feel anxious about what comes next. 

I am witnessing this violence from 1,000 miles away, feeling as if I’m watching another country descend into crisis. But instead, it’s my country. 

And the silence is deafening. The silence is nearly paralyzing. 

This is not a “bipartisan” issue. Whoever you voted for is currently irrelevant to me. Today, you can say, “I voted for Trump, and this is not what I want to see from my government.” You can change your mind. You can now work to stop the cruelty. Do not let your pride get in the way of doing what you know is right. There is so much power in changing your mind and speaking up. You can be the positive influence your peers need. 

While the country is in crisis, I’ll still go to work. I’ll cook dinner. I’ll hang out with my husband and kitties. I will feel gratitude for the safety and security I enjoy. 

At the same time, I will continue to process these feelings and thoughts with my loved ones and a therapist. I will look for ways I can support the people who are being harmed by this administration. I will try to be brave.

Thanks for reading,

Sarah