I am doing my best.

“You’re not doing enough.” 

These words are likely familiar to any of you in the nonprofit sector.

You hear them from volunteers, community members, donors, maybe even clients. If you are like me, you hear them in your own head. Constantly. 

Nonprofit professionals experience the consequences of our harmful systems firsthand. The families experiencing homelessness because of neglectful and abusive landlords. The people diagnosed with cancer working somewhere that doesn’t offer health insurance. The kids going hungry on weekends because their parents earn slightly too much to qualify for SNAP. 

Our jobs involve alleviating the suffering caused by these harmful systems – the abusive landlords, the workplaces without health insurance, the arbitrary eligibility guidelines for public benefits. 

Every day, we are pushing boulders uphill. And then sometimes people who do not witness your daily battle with the ridiculous boulder have the confidence to ask, “Why don’t you build more houses?” or  “Why don’t you convince more workplaces to offer health insurance?” or “Why don’t you change the eligibility requirements for SNAP?” 

They ask, “Why don’t you accomplish the impossible with as few resources as possible?”

Instead of naming their demands as unfair, I start to think, “They’re right. I’m not doing enough. I need to accomplish the impossible.” 

Sometimes I may ask, “I would love to do [xyz]. Can you help?” Spoiler alert… the answer is almost always, “No, that’s your job.”

Okay cool. Great. I will accomplish the impossible while making sure none of my other work falls through the cracks. And those who have no desire to help will berate me for falling short every time. 

Now on top of pushing the boulder uphill, I have people standing off to the side lecturing me about how I am not pushing enough boulders uphill. 

I do not expect to be thanked for the work I do. I am in such an incredibly privileged position in this world. However, I am tired of us being asked to do the impossible with little to no support. 

Do you want to help push the boulder? Join me! Thank you! Do you want to yell at me while I push the boulder? Kindly, don’t. 

If you relate, I’m sorry. It is exhausting to hear internally and externally that you are not doing enough to support the people our systems have failed. You are doing your best.

I am doing my best.

-Sarah